Seeking Validation - Looking for the Sense of Personal Value

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Here are a few notes on a recent meditation I had on the subject of insecurity and the result that it produces - the plaguing need for validation.

Gal 1.10: Now am I trying to win the favor of men, or of God? Do I seek to please men? If I were still seeking popularity with men, I should not be a bond servant of Christ (the Messiah). (Ampl.)

1 Cor 4.1-5: But [as for me personally] it matters very little to me that I should be put on trial by you [on this point], and that you or any other human tribunal should investigate and question and cross-question me. I do not even put myself on trial and judge myself. I am not conscious of anything against myself, and I feel blameless; but I am not vindicated and acquitted before God on that account. It is the Lord [Himself] Who examines and judges me. (Ampl.)

People who are insecure seek to prop up their failing self-image by winning validation seeking value. The value they seek is really love. This love can only be the Love of God that satisfies. All other love or valuations leave a person stimulated but empty later. These people (and we’ve all been there) will seek a support group, a new addiction, or sublimate for the real thing they are seeking. True validation happens when we reflect to a person who they are in the light of God's Love and Finished Work.

There are a few different ways people seek approval or validation when they feel insecure. All of them send a message:

1. Keeping Quiet to Gain Approval
Holding back when truth needs to be told because you just don’t want to upset anyone. As someone who is not afraid to speak out,  won’t be liked by everyone. You will be deeply respected by those who a) agree with you, and/or b) appreciate whatever it is you’re saying being brought out in the open.

2. Getting Loud / Standing out
Some people seek approval not by blending in, but by standing out. They might be a little too loud, cross that fine line between witty boisterousness  or – especially in the case of women – turn the feminine charm.

3. Being a "Yes Man"
Compromise truth and your ego gets stroked by hanging out with people who mutually admire your persona.

4. I Can Do That!
Overextending and overachieving are classic tactics men as well as women use to get validation and approval.

People that are needy and that seek validation to sense their self worth are people that are easy victims of manipulation and narcissistic individuals.

Self esteem is not equal to self confidence. Godly self esteem may not accompany self confidence. There are those times where we have God’s mind about who we are in His Love but we lack self-confidence - Phil 3:3. Self esteem that is associated with an environment of Agape love leads to Godly-confidence which causing us to overcome through faith & grace obedience. This is succeeding in God’s Plan and His Eternal Purpose - Eph 3:11

Jesus never sought validation because he knew who He was - he did not submit to Satan's narcissistic ways in Mat 4 nor did he need to prove himself to Pilate and Caiphas during his trial or after his resurrection.

Paul did not need validation as he knew he was an apostle by the will of God and did not even try to validate himself - 1 Cor 4.1-5

When you feel that sense of insecurity or lack of worth/usefulness don't run away or withdraw - get real quiet in the secret place of prayer and communion with God and your position in the kingdom of His Dear Son. the Holy Spirit illuminates the insecure soul with Divine Love that is unconditional - Rom 5.5