Tough Love vs. Sentimentality

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Here are a few brief notes from a recent message we preached on Tough Love. Enjoy!

And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, 10 so that you can approve the things that are superior and can be pure and blameless in the day of Christ - Phil 1.9

Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth - 1 Cor 13.6


Lovingkindness vs. Sentimentality.
Sometimes our love may be tough love, but His lovingkindness is still our environment and He never deals with us out of Lovingkindness

Loving Truth: Ps 119
  • A person who does not love Truth - does not love themselves
  • A person who does not love themselves does not love the truth told.

Sentimentality:
  • Marked or governed by feeling, sensibility, or emotional idealism 
  • Resulting from feeling rather than reason or thought. 
  • Decision making based on need rather than principle.
  • Loving self more than God or people.
  • Is subjective and never objective.

God’s Love:
  1. Bears evil, but it does not tolerate it. 
  2. It bears the sins of others, but it is not broadminded about sin. 
  3. Real love involves real hatred. Whoever has lost the power of moral and the urge to scatter the buyers and sellers from the temples has also lost a living.

Loving in Truth:
  • When people forego the integrity of God’s love, they often enter into sentimentality instead of entering into tough love. Tough love is just as valid as any other expression of the love of God.
  • Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. 
  • Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it

Speaking the Truth in Love.
  • Deviation from the word of God is sentimentality and says 'you're absolutely right' to this one, and 'you're absolutely right' to that one without telling the Truth. 
  • Your enemy will never tell you the truth because he wants you to be just like him and never free from bondage. 


5 Languages of Love:

  1. Words of Affirmation - 1 Thes 5:11, Prov 10:11
  2. Acts of Service - Mark 10.45, Mat 25.35,36,40
  3. Receiving Gifts - Acts 2:44,45
  4. Quality time - Jn 14:16,18
  5. Physical Contact - Mat 8.3

Tough Love:
  • Don't settle for a relationship based on need - The unequal yoke of 2 Corinthians 6:14
  • Parents: (Ephesians 6:1-4). They cover children with love, with investment, with prayer, with kindness, and with discipline when they must discipline in tough love.
  • Chastisement: When God chastises a believer, as He did King David, it is to help him, to deliver him, and to make him realize that he can have peace. Though God loved David tremendously, it was tough love. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your word. Ps 119:67

Lovingkindness - creates in us a capacity to grow securely into who we are in Christ and into God's Plan for our lives.